Sunday, September 18, 2011

This Path I Am On

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

Proverbs 3:5,6 King James Bible

          This path that I have been on has not gotten any easier with time. It seems the momentum of the battle is getting more strenuous or could it be that I am getting weary on this journey. The path seems to be a constant climb in elevation. At times I can feel the oxygen getting thinner and it is harder to breathe. It has been painful. So extremely painful. No physical wounds that I can bandage up or take a pill to dull the pain. Hurt that can be so unbearable. It has been brutal on my emotions as well as my spirit. It has been grueling on my walk with the Lord. I have experienced doubt, fear, and loneliness. I have had to endure so much with no arms to comfort me. I have had to stand alone against lies that have been told about me. I will not even go into the heart wrenching emotions that are involved with the treatment of my children during this nightmare.

          In all of this and so much more I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Seriously, no where else. This is the path that I know that God has for me. He is here with me every step of this baren path I trod. Am I only going to trust him when things are going good and the weather is fair? I found out that I am better than that. I have seen God's strength in me when I was all tapped out. I have felt his presence when I thought I was alone. I have experience the victory that only the cross of Calvary can offer. I want to be where my Lord is no matter what the conditions are. I learned that as well. Hymns have a renewed meaning. I really hear what they say. Like this one. Did I really believe that I would trust the Lord through it ALL? Only by His grace.

Through It All

Written by- Andrae Crouch
Verse 1:
I've had many tears and sorrows,
I've had questions for tomorrow,
there's been times I didn't know right from wrong.
But in every situation,
God gave me blessed consulation,
that my trials come to only make me strong.

Through it all,
through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.

Through it all,
through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

Verse 2:
I've been to lots of places,
I've seen a lot of faces,
there's been times I felt so all alone.
But in my lonely hours,
yes, those precious lonely hours,
Jesus lets me know that I was His own


Verse 3:
I thank God for the mountains,
and I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms He brought me through.
For if I'd never had a problem,
I wouldn't know God could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Unorganized Blessings!

 Again, it has been a long time since I have been able to coupon. My book was so out of wack and I have not had the time or energy to sit down and put it together. After being about 2 months behind I finally was able to get my book together and had a very little amount of coupons to work with but  God let me have a good time anyway!

The gum I paid 98 cents for all six!

 The toothpaste which normally goes for around $3.50 or more I purchased for 48 cent each plus they came with a sample and $10 in coupons!! The tape was 39 cents each and the laminated pouches 34 cents.
I thank God so much for making my dollars stretch! This week the Sunday paper will have FOUR INSERTS! I can't wait to see what God is going to do next!!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Past, Present, and Future

August 27, 2011

The present:

This year it is on a Saturday. This year it is a very hot day. This year there is a birthday party  going on. This year I sit in my own apartment. This year turmoil and peace are a common mixture.

The past:

On this day 3 years ago my mother passed. On this day 3 years ago I was there by her bedside scared and nervous of the up coming event. On this day 3 years ago, I had peace knowing that it was over. The pain and struggle was over. On this day 3 years ago my life as I knew it would never be the same.

The future:

One year from now. One year from today what is this day going to be like? Today is a day of dreaming, of hoping and going forward. God only knows what his plans are for me. I am anxious and excited. I am hopeful, very hopeful.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I Don't Understand God

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 55:8

You think you know Someone and then He does the unexpected.

Everything was going along as planned and God just does what he wants when he wants to do it. Without clearing it with me first or even asking my permission!

I just don't get Him. Why can't He just act like what I think he should?

I have come to realize that I had God in this nice tidy little box and everything was just fine.

Well, I guess not for Him and I am so glad for that!

I don't want God to be only what I think He is capable of or only what I imagine Him to be. I want God to be God.

He is so amazing and I know he is doing what is best for me. I know God loves us just the same. The Bible says He is "no respector of persons" but I just can't help feeling spoiled most of the time.

I am glad God does just what He wants.

I heard it said once, "What kind of a God would He be if we could figure Him out."

Oh, that was so true for me this week.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

It Will Change You

The hardest thing you will do.
The easiest thing to do.
A little whisper or whimper.
A shout or a cry.

The Lord is nigh unto us, waiting to hear from us. That is what I believe the bible teaches. I have also experienced it in the last several months. I have been through a trial so hard and quiet that I even wondered if God was any where near me. Did he know what I was going through? Did he understand that I needed answers? Did he see that my heart was being broken and I was hurt and confused? Yes, he did. He was there all the time. Showing me tenderly that he heard me and he was there, right there going through this hard and quiet time with me.

He was teaching me.

Teaching me to lean on him and to trust him. He knows what is best for me and what he wants for me is just around the corner. Right out of sight. He was teaching me to keep doing what I know to do and the blessings are on their way. He taught me to be patient and wait.

He is teaching me to be thankful. To look around and see the blessings in my life. My well being is not defined by one area of my life but the full picture. I have wonderful friends, good health, healthy children.

He is teaching me to pray. Prayer. People smarter then me have written books on prayer and have preached on prayer but it doesn't seem real until you know that God heard you. He heard what you said. The Almighty God heard me. Me. Little ole me. That is pretty remarkable. I learned a lot about prayer.

I learned how important it is to pray. Pray about everything. What you think is little and the big things too. I can not guarantee that praying will change what you are going through but I can say it will change you. I was changed by praying. My situation has not changed and it is going on so long but prayer has changed me.

I guess  I should explain now why that blue Fj Toyota is the picture for this post. In the past our family has had things that reminded us that God loves us. For example, I have a Schwan truck, Hannah has horses and Josh has a FedEx truck. When we see those things we rejoice in the love of God for that person. The blue Toyota was a reminder to us to pray for a certain person. Whenever we would see that car we would know to pray for that person. For the past 4 or 5 months I have seen that car around a lot. I have resented to pray for that person. Did I really want good for that person? Did I want God's blessings on that person? Really?? At first I struggled with those questions and others that seemed to haunt me. What did I believe? What kind of person did I want to be? Do I just want to do the easy things or did I want God to use me even for the hard stuff.

As I argued with God when I saw that blue Toyota I learned that God still wanted to hear what I was saying. I was learning about me. Things my Father already knew about me. I did want the easy things but I wanted the hard things also. I want to be a strong Christian and a good daughter to my Heavenly Father. As I prayed I cannot tell you if it changed that person or not but I know for a certainty that it changed me. I pray easier for this person and I do not cringe when I see the blue Toyota like I used to. Some days are easier than others but I still pray.

Through this hard and quiet time God has taught me several things and the most important one so far is to pray. Just keep praying. He is listening.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Untempered Mortar

Any person can build a house. If you have ever seen the show Holmes on Homes you can see that with little or even no skill you can build a home, fix a wall or replace a bathtub. Of course, the whole premise of the show is to show how poor the workmanship was done. Most times Mr. Holmes has to tare everything out and start all over.

As a Christian I would like my home to be built on Jesus. I want Him to be my foundation.  I want the foundation to be strong and be able to stand up against anything.  As I have come to realize a good foundation is not the only thing a strong home needs.

Look at the picture of the home above, can you just see this house in it's hay day. The dinner parties that would have lit up the windows at night. A fire in the fireplace reflecting off the walls in the bedroom. What personality that house must have had. The thrill the owners might have felt watching it go from the blue prints to the reality of walking through the front doors for the first time. Now after years of neglect, possible inferior materials, and trials of nature beyond their control. Here this house sits ready to fall over during the next breezy spring day.

Ezekiel 13:11
"Say unto them which daub it with untempered  mortar, that it shall fall:"

God warns us that if we build we need to build with good materials. Those that are inferior will not last. Building a family is an important thing in a marriage. That verse tells me it is in the details. The seemingly little decisions we make can make a strong family or a dilapidated family that can not withstand the trials that befall a family.

Here is what I learned.  I'll beit a little late. But I know God is not done with me yet. I am just on a different path now.

Get help.  Help with house cleaning. Help with organizing. Help with your health. If you have a problem get help. Do not take, "Your fine," as an acceptable answer. Google it, go to the library, talk to other women. Do not suffer in silence. Your Heavenly Father has more for you than this. Proverbs 11:14, "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety."

The Bible does not trump life. The Bible weaves itself into our reality. God wrote it for our lives. He wants to be apart of our life. Nothing is new under the sun. Read your Bible and find His answers for you. If someone who wants to give you Biblical advice but does not know your problem, Proverbs 18:13 says, "He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him."

Never give up. No one knows everything and no one can speak for God. You are a child of the King. You have Jesus as your mediator. You are loved more than you will ever know. As long as there is Jesus, there is hope.

Remember you can not control people. You are they only one that knows if you are right with God. Build your family from your inside out. Not every aspect of your life or mine will be all in sinc at the same time. Where would the challenge be in that? Build yourself and your family with quality material. Never stop learning and never stop leaning on God for the answers. He already knows what we need before we ask. Matthew 6:8, "... for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Go Ahead, Take a Whack At It!

That statement works when you are hammering a nail or when you are at a child's birthday party hitting a pinata with a bat or stick.

It is not, however, a statement that should be used to describe the conversation you are having with someone.

I recently had a conversation with someone and I felt like that person had just whacked me up side the head. The person was attempting to do it with their Bible no less. Not literally, of course! But it left me reeling just the same.

This person did not know anything about me. But that did not stop this person. What are facts when you have the Bible? This person felt they did not need to know my life to know what God's will is for me.

As I endured this person's knowledge on everything to fix my problem (even though this person did not know my problem or even asked if I had a problem). I was thinking about Jesus.

If He were here to talk to people about their problems, how would he do it?

Take the woman at the well for example. He already her knew her situation and let her know that he knew all about her. He could have gone into a tirade on not being married and living with a man or being divorced. But that is not the conversation he chose to have with her. He did not even tell her go and sin no more like another woman he said that to.

He offered her refreshment. He offered her hope. He offered her life. I bet that did more for her then any lecture she could have received about immoral living.

She went away from that meeting excited and wanting to tell others of Jesus and what he can do for her and for them. She might have even gone home and got her house in better order.

When I was able to leave the one sided conversation I was having with this person I did not feel lifted up, drawn to Jesus or encouraged in anyway. I did not want to go out and tell others about Jesus' gift. I wanted to go home and lick my wounds from a careless person who just wanted to sound spiritual and whack me with their Bible but not take the time to talk with me about my life.

As Christians we should be drawn to each other for support and acceptance. To help each other along the way. No one knows the future and can not for certain tell you what God's will is for your life. We do not have the right to whack each other with the Bible. That is not what the Bible is for.

So the next time you want to take a whack at something, make sure it is not a fellow Christian or worse yet, a person who is not saved and does not even know the love of Christ.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I May Be Down...

But God is still using me.

I must say watching Facebook with my friends getting killer deals has encouraged me and has also challenged me. "I want to play, too!" is what I am thinking when I see the deals that are going on around me. So here is mine.

 I was able to get 5 boxes of Finish Tabs (20 ct.) for 98 cents PLUS $10 in ECB's. That was including tax.

I bought (that word is so funny to use now) this hairspray for 38 cents. Yes, I do have to pay tax, sometimes.

I do not normally picture the feminine things but I was on a roll with this. I purchased all of these for 89 cents.

God put into my hands a tool a little over a year ago and I know that couponing works. Now, when things are super tight I know how to make a dollar or even a quarter squeal!

God also put the Bible and prayer into my life a long time ago when things were going just fine. I have learned that reading my Bible and prayer works. As I go through a valley right now I know what to do. I know what works. When change happens and I may not have the answers I still know what to do and I know Who to turn to.

What is the point of learning new things when you do not allow God to use them for His glory. I know that reading my Bible and praying does a lot for me but I think it also gives God glory just as when I save money and I am able, just like you were to me, to encourage someone to keep going even when it is harder to keep going.

When it is hard, read your Bible and pray. When it is not so hard, read your Bible and pray. That is one thing that does not have to change where you are up or down.