Saturday, August 22, 2015

A letter to Anna

Dear Anna,

My dear, dear, lady. To have every one know your heartache. I can only imagine that is very overwhelming. Take a deep breath.

Foremost I want to say that this is in no way your fault. You did nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with you as a woman or a wife. There is nothing wrong with your Christianity or mothering of your children. He built this kingdom and now you all have to live with the public shame and reproach not just on your family but on the name of Jesus. Your husband did this to himself and his family and to the cause of Christ. No matter what you did you could not have made difference. He would have made these choices anyway. This is the way he wanted to go. Everyone has temptations and choices. He was weak and did not pass by them he enjoyed sin for a season.

You have several options. You could stay with this man, you could separate for a while, or you could divorce.

If you stay you will have plenty of guidance from people who took this path. In my opinion, you should do a few things before you go down this path.
         1. Make sure there is true repentance. Things need to be different. You are making the rules
         2. The computers need to be put on lock down and put in a common room in the home. No 
              more late night computer sessions.
         3. Counseling as a couple and individually. Not with someone you know but someone who can
             hold your husband accountable. You need to be able to safely talk about your feelings
             about his behavior against you and your children.
         4. You need to forgive to go forward. You cannot drag bitterness with you if you are going to
             stay. That will take much prayer and time. You can not hurry this. It will not happen

If you choose to separate for a while that might help you with your healing. It would give you time to process things without the pressure of him being there watching you. You need time and you may need some space to decide what you want to do.

If you decide to leave and file for divorce, the world would not fault you for doing that. They would applaud you. They would say you did the right thing. Then they would leave you out in cold and criticize your parenting publically. Most Christians would leave you and you would be left with very few but true and loyal friends. If your husbands repentance is not true, if he still thinks he is the boss of the home, and if you know better and feel that this is the best for you and your children then you must do it. It will be a hard road but you deserve to be valued and cherished. You are an amazing woman your heavenly Father has a wonderful plan for you and your kids. He will provide for you. It will not be an easy decision but if it God's plan for you then it will be blessed.

Pray, my friend, lots and lots of prayer will help you through this difficult time of decision. Stay in the bible. You will find wisdom and comfort in those pages.  Please do not make the decision everyone expects of you. Please do not make a decision out of pressure. Make the decision that God would have you to make because then He will be there with you every step of the way.

What ever way you decide to go Anna, God bless you. Our prayers are with you.

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